The Awesomatastablog of Patrick Fahey

Easter Weekend.

2010-04-01T12:56:00.001-07:00

I'm home for the Easter Weekend. Hangouts with good friends, candy and gratuitous amounts of alcohol are guaranteed. Excellent times ahead. But there's one thing I keep forgetting. I'm supposed to be turning into one of those 'adult' thingies. Dad's told me to get a haircut (which I plan on doing, just not the way he probably sees it), Mom's been on my case about going to get some kind of job, even though I have no idea where I'm living yet, and then there's the whole living situation for May. Sucks, growing up.

Now, I'm in that eternal state of "I wanna play music and write songs and tour and be free from adult things like banking and desk jobs and consistent hygiene." Ok, hygiene can stay. And I suppose I'll have no choice but to pay taxes without the help of Dad's math-brain eventually. But I'm not cut out for a desk job. I have WAY too much energy, a short attention span, and an aversion to anything that makes my head-meat work. Actually, I don't think I'm cut out for any job. Music is the one thing I'm good at and am passionate about. I don't claim to be the best (like no one ever was DUN DUN DUHNUHH) but at least I know that I don't suck. Songwriting is coming to be slowly more natural, and when the band gets together, we can get a tune together in 5 minutes or less. Seriously, we're efficient.

The problem with my plan for not really working for the rest of my life is the tiny little issue of getting the band together to practice. We live a decent distance apart from each other, and it's difficult with school getting in the way. See map:

Now, note "Mom + Dad." That's where I am now. Significantly closer to my bandmates. You'd think the long weekend would be prime opportunity to have a practice or two. Well you'd think wrong if you even thought it at all. Mat (drums) just got his wisdom teeth removed (WINGS ARE SO DELICIOUS, AS ARE OTHER SOLID FOODS, MATHEW REBECCA HYLAND) and will be out of commission until next week. When I'm not in the Burls. Errol (bass)... well he's probably busy. School and whatnot. Come to think of it, I haven't asked him what he's up to this weekend. But without a drummer, the practice would be a little off. So that rules him out by association. So you see, practices are hard to come by.

"But Patrick," you might start to think, "what happens when the school year is over, and where are you going to be?" To which I will answer: "Hell if I know." Realistically, I'm probably gonna move into an apartment in Burlington, possibly a townhouse with Mat. Maybe go to Cambridge. Toronto seems nice. Ottawa would be pretty cool, there are nice people. California seems ideal. All these places and nowhere to really go - and the band's existence pretty much solely depends on where I end up living.

I have so much to think about in the next few weeks. There is a very good reason why Easter Weekend Default Plan or "D.E.R.P." as I like to call it (if you switch some words around, and misspell 'weekend') consists of hanging out with my friends, drinking gratuitous amounts of alcohol, and eating candy until I feel profoundly unwell.

Bloggity Blog.

2010-03-31T21:27:00.001-07:00

This blog is so unorganized. I see about 5 different fonts, a bunch of nonsense hanging out in random places, and gibberish posts.

It's time I clean up my act. Fuck tumblr. Blogger, you're my one true blogging love. Easily edited, versed in helping me not fuck up, and best of all, you allow me to space things properly. I'm not sure if I'm just a moron and can't hit 'return' as well as everyone else or if there's a serious problem with my layout. You tell me.

At any rate, I've renewed my dormant love for blogging because today, I found God. Her name is Allie Brosh, and she's a hero. I can't even put her into words, so just read her blog instead. It's better than mine.

So, while I'm thinking of more things to write about, here's a scary picture:

I hope you have nightmares, and wake up cursing my name.

Love, Patrick.

Fuck You Aurora.

2010-03-11T00:40:00.000-08:00

I wish I could write songs. I mean I do. Write them, that is. Just not well. See I put a lot of time and effort into writing songs. But I feel like I come up short all too often. Say for instance I want to write a song about a girl. She's smart and funny and cute and a total bitch - Yeah, a break up song. I have the emotions and ideas in my head about what I want to write, but can never put the words properly to paper, and end up rhyming three letter words in couplets. It's all too simplistic, and the world wants so much more from their artists these days. You know, the real ones that write their own stuff. I've never been more envious of Pete Wentz/Patrick Stump, Mark Hoppus/Tom DeLonge, Matt Skiba/Dan Andriano. Where's my Pete? My Mark? My Matt? The person I can go to - write songs with. I want to create that catchy tune that'll make everyone sing - I want my crowd to swear at and hate that bitch the song's about. Why? I want people to get my music, really dig into it.

I saw Alkaline Trio on March 6th. Amazing show. They played so much of the old stuff: '97, Nose Over Tail, and stuff from Good Mourning. But the moment that stuck out at me the most was when they played "Fuck You Aurora" - and EVERYONE there was just screaming that line. I've never known Aurora. I don't know who she is. But I hate her, and want to yell at her, and tell her how much pain she caused. It's incredible what a song can do to someone.

I want to be able to do that. Someday, I will. I'll just keep writing and working my ass off until my time comes.

Friendship.

2009-10-11T22:29:00.000-07:00

Friendship happens when two people converge upon: "What? You too? I thought I was the only one."

- C.S. Lewis, paraphrased.

I've come to some serious conclusions. And I'll compile them here in list format for easy reading. At the end of each paragraph, I've summarized the main idea into one line.

1. Friends stick together.

This seems like it should go without saying. But in light of recent events, I think it needs to be addressed. When you have a group of friends, you decide what to do as a group - not as individuals with specific objectives. Say, for instance, your group is 5 people. If one person in the group decides on what to do, considering there are no other ideas, it makes sense to do that thing. But if everyone gets there, and only that person is having fun - it's time to leave. Group dynamics are not built upon having a leader, they're built on ties and collective objectives.

"Fuck the "Bro Code". I don't care if you're getting laid - we're bored as shit listening to this bitch talk about her puppy."

2. Friends are not judgmental.

When a friend has an issue, listen to them. Don't judge them based solely on the outer shell of the issue that you see. If someone you care about is troubled, it makes sense to be supportive. I mean, unless they've killed someone, or raped a 13 year old, there's no reason to judge someone - especially your friends.

"You did what to a goat? With a plunger? - Not acceptable. Say: That's neat, how did you get into that sort of thing?"

3. Friends see each other as equals.

Once again - this seems to go without saying. But think about it. When you're with your friends, isn't there someone who assumes they're more important? Maybe the oldest one, the one with the car, the one with the girlfriend, the one without a girlfriend - there are tons of probable situations. But they always assume their position on a pedestal, vying for attention. You want to be supportive, because they are your friend - and in some cases, you don't want to feel guilty because they happen to be your ride or something like that - but it's just really hard to worship a friend. When you're put into a situation like that, only bad things can happen, and it's best to try and work it out without kicking someone's legs out; or metaphorically taking the wind from beneath their wings.

"Just because you've got the car doesn't mean you've gotta be the boss."

4. Friends do not keep secrets from each other.

Trust is essential in any friendship. It's really hard for one to imagine their life without that person they can share everything with. It's super difficult to find that person you can trust, and when you do - you know you can put your soul into their hands. But your soul can seep through their fingers, when you start keeping things from them. It can be something as little as - "I ate your last chip", to something as severe as "I'm fucking the girl you have a crush on." If you keep things away from your friends - bad things happen.

"Secrets don't keep friends, simple as that."

5. Friends help each other.

If a friend is in need, that's your immediate number one priority. Unless of course you're dying. Then you have an excuse. Heroics aren't needed, just something to give them a boost. Or to move their stuff. Or give them a shoulder to cry on. Anything for a friend, you know?

"Bert, pass me the soap. Rubber duckie has no arms."

6. Most importantly - Friends communicate.

This is VASTLY the most important rule of friendship. When communication fails, so does a friendship. If you feel like you can't talk to your friend anymore, than why bother, right? Wrong. What's the reason you can't talk to them? Should you mend it? Is it worth it? If at one point you called this person your best friend, then rethink your position. Confront the situation head on, and communicate your problems. A real friend would not judge or overreact or veto your opinion. Just talk to them - what can it hurt to address a problem if you really are friends?

"If I'm fighting because you're fighing, and you're fighting because I'm fighting - then why are we fighting?"

In conclusion - I can't say I know everything, but I can say this: To have a friend, you must be a friend.

By the way, I'd like to make mention of something that's been bothering me. Within the last year, I lost 4 of my best friends. One to death, one to bad decisions, and two to miscommunication. When losing almost all of your close friends, it's hard to move on. It's hard to say "I'm ready to forget all those times, and leave them behind forever." When I lost my closest friend to death, he left me with some of the hardest times I'd ever face. He gave me the strength to stand up for myself, the power to do something and the voice I needed - without ever saying a word. I miss him every day - and I can't wait to see him again. The next friend I lost was someone I know I could have seen myself with for a long time. But I chose the wrong paths, and people involved changed for the worse. I just wish things had gone differently - maybe I'd not have to be writing this. The next friend I lost saw me as a screw up and immature - a failure. Not because I did things wrong, just differently than her. And since she never told me why, and I never informed her of why I did the things I did, we fell out of friendship. The last friend I lost is one I'll never forget - and never live down. I knew him all my life, we'd been through everything together - but up until recently I'd never realized I knew nothing about him. I wanted to - I really did. He was just never open. And that in turn led to the downfall of our friendship. It's been well over a month now, and I can see that things will not get better unless we both do something about it. But he's too callous to realize how much I've been hurt - and what I've been through this last year.

I'd apologize to him if I could, but I'm afraid it would come from a fist. Communication at its lowest form is knowing when you've hurt someone - and it seems like the whole world is blind to this simple idea.

To be a friend is to know what it's like to need one. I want to thank Danny for giving me that perspective. He's a hero - and a true friend.

This blog has totally not existed for like, a month.

2009-08-24T12:39:00.000-07:00

So, internet. It seems you have gotten the best of me.

*Gets "Best of You" - Foo Fighters stuck in head*

Realistically, I'd really like to be able to remember things like updating blogs. Or have the motivation at the time of something exciting to blog about it. Here's the thing though. Ooh! Shiny!

I kicked Pete Wentz this summer, that was pretty rad. I was at the blink-182 concert in Toronto on August 8th. I just happened to see him, and since I had a message to deliver to Andy Hurley (Fall Out Boy's drummer), I thought it'd be best to go through Pete, just in case I don't see Andy. So I did, and since the message was to say "Hello" and give him a kick to the shin, Pete goes "Yo! Just kick me!" So I did.

Also, the blink-182 show was so perfect. I Just saw them again last night, and WOW. Never had a better time at anything. blink really knows how to own an amphitheatre. I'm really stoked to see their next tour, because I'm sure Toronto is on the World Tour lineup. We're kind of a big deal.

The drum intro to Violence was incredible. Travis once again proved he is and always will be the best drummer out there.

The video does him absolutely no justice.

Anyways, I love the band to death, and I'm gonna go give Brad Pitt a bubble bath!

blink-182, The Joint in Las Vegas - July 23, 2009

2009-07-23T23:46:00.000-07:00

Twitter Transcript from @mtvnews of the First blink-182 show of the tour!

mtvnews10:02pm ... the lights go down! #blink182

about 2 hours ago from mobile web

mtvnews#blink182 ... first song: "dumpweed" sooooo many people screaming, soooo many flashing lights

about 2 hours ago from mobile web

mtvnews#blink182 ... right into song #2 "feeling this"

about 2 hours ago from mobile web

mtvnewsmark flicks guitar pick from across stage, nails tom w/it. crowd singing along to chorus super loud #blink182

about 2 hours ago from mobile web

mtvnews"motherf--k, s--t, f--k ..." - t.delonge, right into song #3 "rock show" #blink182

about 2 hours ago from mobile web

mtvnews... and a prolonged handjob joke from mr.delonge #blink182

about 2 hours ago from mobile web

mtvnewsobjects tossed on stage so far: innumerable beach balls, glow sticks, bottles, one flip flop #blink#182

about 2 hours ago from mobile web

mtvnews#blink182 ... songs 4-5: "Easy Target," "What's My Age Again" What's My Age I Miss You

about 1 hour ago from mobile web

oops ... song #6 is "I Miss You," after a whole bunch of dick jokes #blink182

about 1 hour ago from mobile web

mtvnewsscaled-down set tonight cuz venue's small ... not a ton of lights, but wow did they look pretty on "miss you." #blink182

24 minutes ago from mobile web

mtvnewsreally great, extended jam on outro of "miss you" #blink182

23 minutes ago from mobile web

mtvnews"why does it feel like all i can do up here is make dick jokes?" delonge is feelin' it tonite.

22 minutes ago from mobile web

mtvnewssong #7 "stay together for the kids," song #8 "down" (with telescoping guitars, jammy outro) #blink182

15 minutes ago from mobile web

mtvnews#blink182 ... songs 9-10 "always," "stockholm syndrome."

8 minutes ago from mobile web

mtvnews#blink182 - "stockholm" is a real show-stopper, moody blacklights, gnarly shredding. they are air-tight right now

7 minutes ago from mobile web

mtvnews#blink182 ... right into song #11 "first date." lets make this last forever. seriously.

5 minutes ago from mobile web

mtvnews"chuck norris masturbates to US." - tom delonge. #blink182

1 minute ago from mobile web

mtvnews#blink182 ... #s12-14 "Man Overboard," "Going Away to College," "Not Now"

less than 5 seconds ago from mobile web

mtvnews#blink182 ... song #15 "all the small things." tom changes the lyrics to all sorts of dirty things.

half a minute ago from mobile web

mtvnews#blink182 ... songs #16-17, "Adam"s Song," "Reckless Abandon"

less than 10 seconds ago from mobile web

mtvnews#blink182 - song 18 "Josie." bonus points for kids starting circle pit. one is wearing a neon headband.

1 minute ago from mobile web

mtvnews#blink182 ... song 19 "anthem part 2" ... band finish up, walk off. "thank you guys, we'll see u in a minute" -delonge

less than 5 seconds ago from mobile web

mtvnews#blink182 ... im shouting "up all night" as loud as i can, people r just looking at me weird.

1 minute ago from mobile web

mtvnews#blink182 ... aaaand now it's time for the travis barker drum solo!

less than 20 seconds ago from mobile web

mtvnews#blink182 ... we dont get the full "travis flies over the audience" solo u've seen on youtube ... scaled down cuz of smaller venue

half a minute ago from mobile web

mtvnews#blink182 ... still, trav is KILLING it, faster and faster, harder and harder, kit spinning round and round

less than 20 seconds ago from mobile web

mtvnews#blink182 ... encore: a pair of oldies! "carousel," and -- you guessed it -- "dammit"

less than 5 seconds ago from mobile web

mtvnews#blink182 ... this place has been waiting for "dammit" all night ... they finally get it ...boom! pits everywhere! fists in the air!

half a minute ago from mobile web

mtvnews"you guys are so f--king cute! you're so god--n sexual! i dont know what to say ... masturbate!" tom delonge ... and with that, show's done.

less than 10 seconds ago from mobile web

mtvnews#blink182 ... that's all. house lights on. gotta go write this thing up. reviw will be on mtvnews.com tomorrow at 7am! thanks for following!

less than 10 seconds ago from mobile web

Webcomic Looking For Artist

2009-07-13T13:00:00.000-07:00

Helen Keller, Anne Frank, Jesus, Adam West, USS, Principal Scudworth and Admiral Ackbar - Led by the one true Canadian hero, Braman - Are off to save the day once again from The League of Supervillains (formed of Darth Vader, Mewtwo, Megatron, Sylar, Mojo Jojo, HAL 9000, The shark from Jaws, The Joker, Sauron, Voldemort, Piedmon, Dr. Evil, Pennywise, Megabyte, Tyler Durden and Cobra Commander).

More heroes and villains to be added as the story unfolds, or to make appearances as cameos.

Any artists? Contact me.

Metal.

2009-07-12T19:19:00.000-07:00

Music is my life. I play, listen to, eat, drink, and sleep it.

Contrary to popular belief, I do have a broader scope of musical tastes than just blink-182 and Alkaline Trio. I just choose to listen to them more than everything else.

There's pretty much something from every genre on my iTunes.

But then it comes to metal. I was just reading a post on someone's messageboard about metal genres. And it made me want to kill. Allow me to explain:

Death Metal*

Black Metal

Prog Metal*

Blackened Death Metal

Progressive Black Metal

Technical Metal*

Math Rock/Metal

Technical Melodic Death Metal

Pirate Thrash Metal

Folk Metal*

Progressive Folk Metal

Goregrind

Brutal Grindcore Metal

Blackcore Grind Metal

I mean, there are a few there (marked with asterisks) that I've heard of before. And that's fine, I mean, who hasn't heard of Death Metal? But honestly, so many 13 year olds with Limewire think it's just so fucking cool to micro-categorize their beloved thrash bands. Honestly, its just too much. Pop-Punk is Pop-Punk, Country is Country, Blues are Blues, Jazz is Jazz, Emo is My Chemical Romance, and Classic Rock is Classic Rock. But metal just has to have it's own mini-niches. I'm sure there are people out there that multi-classify Classic Rock or Jazz, but no one cares, so no one says anything. Metal fans apparently don't get the hint that we don't care about their favourite unknown Brutal Grindcore band.

Not that anyone I'm aiming this at will read it, or even if they do, take it into consideration. It's just food for thought. So, the next time you hear some loser talking about their friend's myspace, and how they've got new songs up by a Post-Apocalypse Neo-Grindcore Heavy Black-Gore Metal band, kick them in the teeth, drop them like a pussy, and tell them it's from me.

Really? Yes.

2009-07-12T06:18:00.000-07:00

Just thought I'd share this.

Songs of the Week. Fuck Tuesdays.

2009-07-10T00:02:00.001-07:00

Ok, so it seems as if I can't keep days straight.

Whatever, here's the songs of the week.

5. Southern Rock - Alkaline Trio

4. There Is - Box Car Racer

3. Eternity ~ Memory of Lightwaves - Final Fantasy X-2

2. Enthused - blink-182

1. Weightless - All Time Low

And the deciding factors:

5. Carly got it stuck in my head. You know, I barely know this girl, but thanks to Twitter, I can read her thoughts and get them stuck in mine. Ish.

Carly's Tweet

My Reply

4. I've been thinking about someone lately. Not sure why. I'm guessing subconscious stimulus. Like being in Oakville and bussing past her street. I promised her this song, so I am forced to think of her when I play it sometimes.

3. Ellie is in England. And she never played this song for me.

2. I'm trying to learn this song by ear, and it's posing a veritable threat to my sanity. I don't know why I'm having trouble with it, either. It seems so straightforward. I'll get it soon enough.

1. I. Love. This. Song. It represents everything this summer is as a counter point to college this September. The summer is to school as the weekend is to the year. I posted the lyrics in a blog here.

The Awesomatastics Current Setlist

2009-07-09T11:38:00.000-07:00

Mathew Hyland and I (otherwise known as The Awesomatastics) were just discussing our setlist. As of right now, we have 2 tunes written without lyrics. So we're primarily a cover band. Of course, a blink-182 cover band. So far, we have a 13 song setlist. They're in no particular order, and there are still more to be added.

Dammit

All The Small Things

First Date

The Rock Show

Wasting Time

Down

Aliens Exist

Don't Leave Me

Easy Target

Wendy Clear

Going Away To College

Here's Your Letter

Dick Lips

Also, I might want to point out the songs that may sneak their way into any set:

Blew Job

Family Reunion

So, there you have it. By the end of our next practice, we should have 25 songs in our blink-182 setlist, and hopefully have written the lyrics to our 2 incomplete songs, as well as writing some more. We're very productive, as you can tell. And we tend to goof off a ton as well. Oh, Clone High.

"DID YOU SEE THE POOL?! THEY FLIPPED THE BITCH!!"

Check out the sidebar to become a fan of the Awesomatastics. Twitter coming soon.

Summer 2009 - Endless Weekend.

2009-07-07T10:29:00.000-07:00

Now, I don't normally do this, or even condone it. I really hate seeing facebook notes just full of lyrics and no substance or an explanation on why this means something to the person.

All Time Low released their new CD "Nothing Personal" today, and I've been loving it. This song, Weightless, is the first track on it, and was released as a single in April.

I rarely care about lyrics, unless it's blink, Jimmy Eat World or Alkaline Trio. The songs just have to sound good, a good mix of instruments and vocals. But these stuck out to me. The chorus and bridge are kind of empowering.

Anyways, take what you will from this - it's not that difficult to discern. But I'll give you this: Look out Niagara College. I'm not dreaming anymore; Life bends to me - I'll make damn sure.

Weightless - All Time Low

Video

Manage me I'm a mess
Turn a page, I'm a book
Half unread
I wanna be laughed at
Laughed with, just because
I wanna feel weightless
And that should be enough

Well I'm stuck in this fucking rut
Waiting on a second hand pick me up
And I'm over, getting older

If I could just find the time
Then I would never let another day go by
I'm over, getting old

Maybe it's not my weekend
But it's gonna be my year
And I'm so sick of watching while the minutes pass as I go nowhere
And this is my reaction
To everything I fear
Cause I've been going crazy I don't want to waste another minute here

Make believe that I impress
That every word
By design
Turns a head
I wanna feel reckless
I wanna live it up, just because
I wanna feel weightless
Cause that would be enough

If I could just find the time
Then I would never let another day go by
I'm over, getting old

Maybe it's not my weekend
But it's gonna be my year
And I'm so sick of watching while the minutes pass as I go nowhere
And this is my reaction
To everything I fear
Cause I've been going crazy I don't want to waste another minute here

This could be all that I've waited for
*Waited, I've waited for*
And this could be everything
I don't wanna dream anymore

Maybe it's not my weekend
But it's gonna be my year
And I've been going crazy
I'm stuck in here

Maybe it's not my weekend
But it's gonna be my year
And I'm so sick of watching while the minutes pass as I go nowhere
And this is my reaction
To everything I fear
Cause I've been going crazy I don't want to waste another minute here

*also, Mark Hoppus is in the video. And his "line" is so right.*

Tragic Love

2009-07-03T20:44:00.000-07:00

Ned and Charlotte from Pushing Daisies.

In their childhood, Charlotte was friends with Ned, and he was in love.

Years later, Charlotte died.

Ned happened upon her body at a funeral home.

If Ned touches someone, they come back to life. When he touches them again, they die again, forever. If a person who has been revived isn't touched within a minute, another random person within a small vicinity dies in their place.

Ned revived Charlotte, someone died in her place. While his love is alive once again, and his to keep - Ned cannot even touch her, or else she will die again, forever.

Love is just so strange sometimes.

Songs of the Week. Late, go figure.

2009-07-01T12:08:00.001-07:00

So much for being on time. Wicked hangover, and loss of memory contributing.

6. Whipped - By Permit Only, actually the whole album Windbreaker.
5. Digimon Theme Song

4. Dirty King - The Cliks

3. Black Balloon - The Goo Goo Dolls, and both their Greatest Hits CDs.

2. 2 15/16 - USS

1. Aliens Exist - blink-182

Ok, short explanation.

6. Six songs. My blog, I'll break the rules if I want to. I recently located the lead singer of this now defunct band just as their CD "Windbreaker" was coming back into my normal music rotation. It's one of my favourites too. It's blink-esque: and I love it.

5. I've been watching season 2 of Digimon, and after 34 episodes, and over 100 digivolutions, the theme gets stuck in your head.

4. My new wife's favourite band. Tranny singer, definitely one of the most interesting bands i've heard yet. Check them out for sure.

3. I've been listening to The Goos a lot lately. Nothing special.

2. I wish I could remember all the lyrics to this song. It's my next non-blink-182 project.

1. blink-182, need I say more?

And to alleviate the effort of making another blog for this, I got hitched. Her name is Karley and she's priceless. A real sweetheart. Also, looks good with red hair. Which is a serious bonus, and anyone who knows me knows why! We'll also make mention here that band practice #1 is happening tomorrow, and Mat and I couldn't be more stoked. The Awesomatastics are gonna make the comeback of the century, second to blink, of course.

My life is so full of love right now, its awesome.

Dressed To Kill.

2009-06-26T20:43:00.000-07:00

Ok, so here's the deal.

I'm dressed to kill. Loaded and cocked my words.

Aimed hard, and true.

But really, does that even matter when you're talking at a wall?

A really pretty wall?

Not that I mind. At all. I'm looking forward to a fun summer.

Anyways, I like this wall. Much better than Gravity. That bitch.

An+"Cunning" / Revokment of a Property + An Abstract Representation of a Set of Objects Where Some Pairs of the Objects are Connected by Links.

2009-06-23T21:17:00.000-07:00

Ok, so here's what's up.

The Sound of Music Festival was amazing.

USS ripped my soul from my body, launched it into the ether, gave it acid and smoothies and sent it on its way back to my body via the Lifestream.

Tom Cochrane was great. For a 57 (?) year old, he knows how to own a stage. Encore was great. Lunatic Fringe is just so dark and gritty.

Also, Human Kebab + Ash = WIN+

The weekend at the Sound of Music wasn't just about the music though. Saw some people I haven't seen in forever. It was good times for sure. I met some interesting people, and am genuinely enjoying the new company.

I've decided to do a weekly "Top 5 Songs" dealy. It's like the songs I've been loving on over the course of the week. I'm gonna do the first one as part of this post, and starting next Tuesday, I'll post them as their own. Here goes!

5. Waking Up In Vegas - Katy Perry

4. Le Pop - Katezenjammer

3. Promenade (Live) - Street Sweeper Social Club

2. Such As It Ends - Ludo

1. The Rock Show - blink-182

#1 has some serious meaning. If you can decipher the title of the post, relate it to that song.

Here's a hint. The title is a person's name.

Talk to you soon, I promise.

The Invisible Fire-Breathing Giraffe and The Fridge Gremlins Pt.3

2009-06-19T21:33:00.000-07:00

The Advent of The Fridge Gremlins

Canadians have always been known for their harsh winter conditions, their love of maple syrup and beer (presumably not at the same time), and their invention of hockey (and curling and basketball, but not so much the latter... damn yankees). But you see, it was never like this in the past. There were natives with their stick and hoop games. The metis and their raping and other methods of procreation, endangering our heritage from the beginning. And those damn Brits and their tea. It came upon one fateful day: years into the past. Many people may not know this, but Canada had a very bloody dispute on its national animal. Animals were searched for for months, and finally, the caribou, goose, beaver and gremlin were selected. All of these creatures - noble in their own right - were always known to be truly Canadian. But the gremlin was more so. These furry little animals loved maple syrup and beer, and shared a passion for ice. They mostly hibernated throughout the year, until the winter. Then they would come out and slide around on the ice “rinks”, therefore coining the term “rink rats” since they looked like rodent-ish things. They eventually started evolving, and by the mid 1870s, when the beaver was nationally known as far more Canadian since it stayed out year-round, the gremlins decided to create something that all Canadians could enjoy using their current level of mammal intelligence. They all got drunk and picked up some sticks - some believe because they were going to beat one of their own kind. But luckily that has not been proven correct, because one of them started shooting a small pebble around the ice. Over the long, sleepless night these gremlins invented what we know today as hockey. For about 3 years, the game was never really seen played by any humans at all. The gremlins, seeing that their waking time in the winter was waning, took to drastic measures. In 1875, late February, they took to the ice at midnight at Victoria Skating Rink in Montreal. A janitor working there spied this game and pitched it to his friends the next morning. On March 3rd, 1875, the first game of human ice hockey was played, and the Canadian stereotype was born, thanks to the gremlins. However, they did not receive any recognition for this grand achievement. Many decades passed, and as the long hibernations became lessened with each year due to the industrialization of the country, the gremlins decided they needed to change their sleeping patterns and living arrangements. It was June, 1945, and with the first world war at its close, the gremlins decided it was now they should arise to the human world. They looked high and low, and eventually came upon a town called Sudbury where a single youngster was playing outside. Their coats, heavy with sweat made them sluggish. The tribe of about 100 gremlins that survived all these years collapsed near the young boy’s house. He noticed that they were burning hot, so two by two he brought them inside, and placed them inside the icebox, where they stayed cool. The gremlins, also magical beings, granted the young boy’s deepest, most heartfelt wish in thanks for housing them for the time being. His wish: to grant knowledge to the masses in an entertaining manner. The boy: a 5 year old Alex Trebek. The gremlins thanked him for his kindness, and made their way to iceboxes across Ontario, until in the 1980s they all migrated to the Niagara Region, specifically the Welland Area, once again a flourishing tribe of over 50,000. Here they reconnected with their love for hockey. It came to pass that one day in 2008, as the Niagara College hockey team’s star player, Mat Hyland, was practicing with his compadres Jess Van Vugt and Patrick Fahey (who were decidedly not as good as him and also ninjas). As he took a shot, a gremlin slid onto the ice just inches into the flying puck. The hit was fatal. The gremlins had enough. Their history of being unappreciated and underestimated finally took hold of them, and the entire tribe swept onto the ice. Realizing that the only way to save humanity was to invoke his inner strength, Mat’s power manifested into Cryokinesis, the ability to freeze and demolish ice. Mat jumped into action sparing no icy punches. The gremlins were massacred, and with a tribe of just over 200 left of their initial 50,000 (approximately), they retreated, not to be seen until the Great Kitchen War of 2009.

The Invisible Fire-Breathing Giraffe and The Fridge Gremlins Pt.2

2009-06-17T17:54:00.000-07:00

It's advisable to read part 1 of this story before even attempting this.

Now for the factual parts to the story.

This story originally comes from a conversation Jess and I had about the strange noises her fridge makes. Turns out there are in fact gremlins living in her fridge. We pulled out the fridge for inspection one day, out of pure curiosity, and there seemed to be remnants of a hastily removed city of gremlins. Like dust n shit. Real gremlins leave dust. True story. Anyways, one time, we heard the noise that sounded like the fridge gremlins, but I definitely heard it from outside, upon inspection of the hall, we decided that the footprints left could only be left by a fire-breathing giraffe. And since giraffes aren't known to be stealthy, quite the opposite actually, it became clear that this one must be invisible. As for the electric gerbils, we were walking to acquisition ourselves some food and discussing a decent rival for the fire-breathing giraffe. The electric gerbils were all i could come up with, and thus, a rival tribe was formed.

Also relevant: Chuck Norris, Stephen Colbert, Ron Burgudy, Mr. T and Tom Otto were off in the Middle East, fighting crime, so they were unreachable. Turns out Tom Otto whipped out a dated lead, which confused the taliban long enough for the rest of the team to make a fierce Hail Mary -esque Strike upon them. (for those not in the know, Tom Otto never dates his leads, but however endorses the dating of anyone or anything else.)

Again, relevant: Mat Hyland needs to be mentioned, so I shall make mention to his involvement in the next chapter of the ongoing history of The Invisible Fire-Breathing Giraffe and The Fridge Gremlins. I smell superpowers and hockey-playing ninjas.

The Invisible Fire-breathing Giraffe and The Fridge Gremlins Pt.1

2009-06-16T22:02:00.000-07:00

This story was written to Jessica Van Vugt, and originally posted on her Facebook wall in the wee hours of the morning.

My room in this story is at residence, so picture a kitchen with doors two seperate bedrooms. from the kitchen, there's a door to the hallway. also, there's a bathroom attached.

Hey, you. There was this loud crunchin' noise coming from just outside my room, so I leaped into action to investigate. I was stealthy like a ninja, and I slowly opened my door to sneak a peek. What I saw was nearly unbelievable. I finally saw everything. there was an electric gerbil tribe fighting with a squad of fridge gremlins on a firebreathing giraffe's back! I quickly closed my door. Since I figured the war in my kitchen may be ongoing for a while, I called up and assembled the greatest team of heroes known to man: MacGyver, Batman, Cloud Strife, Bruce Springsteen, Carmen Sandiego (a villain, but still cool as fuck) and Capn' Crunch. (Chuck Norris was busy.) When they got to my door I heard a chorus of Thunder Road as the signal to strike. They busted through the door with a fog machine for added effect. I came out brandishing Jack Johnson and Tom O'Leary, ready for action! The collective awesome from all these heroes immediately sent the battle to a level far beyond human comprehension. The battle raged on: Batarangs flying around, Omnislashes popping heads everywhere, paperclip-rubberband-toilet paper roll-based machine guns brandished like its normal (unless you're not actually MacGyver, which he is) and greatly oversized bowls of the Capn's Crunch slammin' bitches left, right and centre. Of course, Carmen Sandiego was nowhere to be found, and my Aztec treasure was missing - with a list of geography questions left in its place (CURSE YOU SANDIEGO! CURSE YOU!) The Giraffe was putting up a formidable fight, and the Gerbils and Gremlins, while also squabbling amongst themselves, banded together to repel the heroes' advance. The brawl raged on for about 2 hours, and in the end, everyone was exhausted. There was almost no hope. Then, as if a sign from god, my phone rang. On the other end, was a voice from the heavens. "Play Thunder Road, once more Bruce..." so he did. It called forth the great being known as ...Charizard!, the most powerful and beloved of the REAL Pokemon (the first 151). He swooped in, and devoured all of the remaining electric gerbils and fridge Gremlins (except the ones that escaped to the third floor, presumably the ones in your fridge???) and began his assault on the fire breathing Giraffe. The epicness of the battle blinded the Capn' and gave Stevie Wonder his vision back (and he wasn't even in the room!) By the finale, the Giraffe surrendered, and bowed to the might of Charizard. He retreated out the door, and disappeared, invoking his powers of invisibility (which is why we can't see him, btw). Charizard then invited all of the heroes onto his back to return them to their homes, except MacGyver, he built a jetpack out of my sink, a waterbottle and some salsa.

And that is the origin story of your Fridge Gremlins and the Invisible Fire-Breathing Giraffe.

Inside jokes galore, unfortunately. You'll understand lots of them soon... in Part 2!

2068

2009-06-16T18:36:00.000-07:00

2068. The world is bleak. Darkness encompasses the land from years of smog and pollution. And to make matters worse, zombies have taken over, and now out-populate living humans. There are few safe places left to hide. Nigh but one solitary army of three could save the world. They are an elite team of zombie-ending specialists.

Boomer, Spaulding, and TLB: the Born Legends In Non-living Kills - One Hundred Eighty Second Division - otherwise known as B.L.I.N.K.-182. The world's only hope of human survival. Too bad they were transported back in time to 1974. With no hope of returning, they lived their lives out from that day on, and all of humanity ended short months after.

I really need to get my driver's license and get out more.

Summer 2009.

2009-06-15T14:55:00.000-07:00

I thought I had this summer all figured out. I made a plan about 2 months ago. But things change, and people move on. Then about a week ago things got a tad fuzzy, and life was almost moving to Calgary. Things changed, plans fell through, and I'm not in Calgary. So now I have no idea what's going to come my way. Nothing will surprise me now.

I'm going to see blink-182 in August twice on the 8th and 23rd. Definitely good times. And if Mark means it, I should be hearing two different setlists. Definitely cannot wait!

Band-ish stuff: I am working with Mat Hyland on a rebirth of our band, The Awesomatastics, and that's going at a rate similar to the production of Duke Nukem Forever. I really hope that picks back up soon. It'll be great to play with him again. Also, an old friend and bandmate in The Pterrifying Pterodactyls - Nick McGuire - has requisitioned my assistance and talents to form another band, and that should be fun. Of course, The Awesomatastics are my #1 Musical Priority, but this should be good times nonetheless. I'm hoping Nick's friends can keep up. Maybe I'll not be able to keep up? We'll see. First practice is next Tuesday.

Katzenjammer has been playing nonstop on my iTunes. Definitely worth checking out their Le Pop album. The songs 'Le Pop' and 'A Bar In Amsterdam' have almost 50 plays between them since I got the album 4 days ago.

Again, I have to add this. Ethsar sucks. I'm on the Ragnarok currently, and I'll be back soon to reclaim the planet. What's the planet called in Final Fantasy VIII?

Twitters:

blink-182: @blink182

Mark Hoppus: @markhoppus

Mat Hyland: @mathewhyland

Nick McGuire: @nickmcguire

Katzenjammer: @Katzenjammers

Boredom

2009-06-14T18:48:00.000-07:00

...makes you do strange things. Like start a blog, for instance. Or follow every moment of Mark Hoppus' life. Or start playing an 11 year old video game again.

Final Fantasy VIII. Playing through this again, I consistently keep telling myself that the ending is so worth it. And it is, I'm just so lazy and scatterbrained that I can't keep focus. I just pause the game and play guitar for a while. I managed to learn Down, Always, and Enthused by blink-182, You've Got So Far To Go, Fine Without You and Bleeder by Alkaline Trio, The City That Day by Matt Skiba (of Alkaline Trio), Pokerface by Lady Gaga and Monster by Meg & Dia over the last two days of Final Fantasy VIII. Maybe I should get bored and play more video games.

By the way, Ethsar sucks. It's huge, the monsters there pre-Lunar Cry suck for experience, and I never remember to buy gas for the car. I'm gonna write 'buy gas' on my hand right now.

First Blog.

2009-06-14T17:40:00.000-07:00

I think I've finally given way to this whole "live on the internet" thing. It's pretty disgusting. And lets be honest here, I bet - at most - 4 people will read this in its entire lifespan. Basically, I'm going to be posting my musings and observations, as well as updates for the 3 people who like my music. Hi guys!

Anyways, that being said, I'd like to welcome myself to the internet, and give the people who read this something to laugh at.

This Dinosaur Is Dumb.

http://www.spinnerdisc.com/dumbdinosaur.html